The Doctor Who Exercise Program(me)

So I'm fat. Pudgy. Overweight. Chunky. Whatever. Has the issue reached such an extreme that I can no longer walk for even five minutes without getting out of breath? No. But the point is that for my own health I need to lose some weight.

The problem is motivation. The notion of "health" is sort of an abstract concept at my age. 22-year-olds, even ones who can't complete a mile within 15 minutes, don't die of fat. So the fact that I understand on a rational and objective level that I need to decrease my girth to something healthier just doesn't do it for me. And being able to dress in cuter clothing is hardly a motivator for me since I've never been particularly interested in clothing. I could have the body of a supermodel and I'd still dress like a haredi hobo--no, I don't mean like urban homeless chic or whatever that trend is called, I mean legit gross. Nor does the idea of being able to attract guys have any appeal for me, since I'd rather be the fattest woman on the planet and die of Twinkie poisoning than be with someone whose love for me is contingent on my being within a certain weight range. As for comments from my mother about my weight as motivation to lose weight, well, sometimes I wonder if I'm choosing to be fat just out of spite.

The problem is that I'm not a rational girl/lady/woman who carefully weighs (is there a pun in there?) her options and with a complete lack of emotion decides to go with the one with the most items in the column labeled "PROS." No, instead I am motivated by fiction and my whims. And, most of all, I am motivated by Doctor Who.

Here's what I'd do if the world really was going to end on 5/21

This morning I was driving around my hometown trying to find a Target that clearly had taken lessons in stealth and hiding from the town of Brigadoon when suddenly I stumbled across a billboard that announced that the world was going to end on May 21, 2011. I gotta say, it's a little startling to come across an announcement about the end of the world sandwiched between other billboards advertising "Rango" or the latest designer jeans, but ok.

Apparently a Christian radio station has taken upon itself the burden of informing the people of the world that their days are numbered. Well, presumably the days of their existence are numbered but infinite, because on May 21st they're gonna join the ranks of eternity. Therefore they're begging the people of the world to cower before God and ask for forgiveness, because eternity is a looooong time to be spending anywhere, let alone Hell. Then again, I'm not so sure an eternity in Heaven would be all that great either, because I get bored ANYWHERE, even Disneyland or the White House or a Bond villain's secret lair in a volcano, after about ten minutes. As a 10th grade/year 11 RE student in London once mused aloud...